I wasn't going to go broadcast what I was doing, but I also wasn't thinking to hide. At the time I didn't really think of myself as different or unusual it was just what I was interested in. It was a very interesting book - everything you ever wanted to know about horses. 'Everybody else was stealing their dads' Playboy magazines,' he says, 'but I had a book called The Big Book of the Horse.' He continues: To begin, he explains that he's had an interest in horses since the age of seven, and became sexually attracted to them around the age of ten or eleven. Everything about the interview is incredible. He is attracted to female horses and is currently in a monogamous relationship with a mare named Ms. And he often plays himself to sleep at night, with Chopin on his white, grand piano.New York magazine's Science of Us blog published an interview today with a 42-year-old Canadian man who identifies as a zoophile. The notorious, albeit fashion-savvy recluse has had a tempestuous on-again, off-again affair with an ex-Russian model/ballerina. McGill writes blog entries on blind dates at seedy, midwestern bowling alleys. He has since sold the company and spends his days strapped to a windsurf board, working on an unfinished memoir the New Yorker has already declared 'an epic statement of letters-perhaps the last, best word on mankind we could hope for.' When he's not avoiding the lurking eye of the British Press, Mr. After graduating from an exclusive, private boy's academy, he spent four years chasing pygmy goats in the mountainlands of New Guinea, before returning to the States, to accept the chairmanship of a gold-mining magnate, bequeathed to him by his dead father. Each time you appear on TV, you’re actually secretly hoping Trixy is watching, but then you’re again reminded he’s probably color-blind, there’s no cable in the barn, and he’s the kind of horse that can only ever receive handjobs, not return them (again, because of the whole hoof thing).ĭunstan McGill grew up in isolated wealth on a family-owned island off Maine, where he was kept constant solace by his confidant and riding horse, Aloysius. So you find yourself on a talk show circuit, exhorting the spiritual benefits of horse masturbation. Realize that this world is cruel, and the only time you’ll ever experience agape love is when jacking off beasts of burden. He actually, physically cannot call you.ġ0. Not just because he’s too busy at work, but because he has hooves instead of fingers. Let the world know how much you care for your horse. Then take the residual jism, spread it over your face, take photos, and send them to all your friends. When the horse deposits, his eyes will roll to the back of his lids, his back leg will kick, and he may feel vulnerable. While stroking the gigantic animal penis, you’ll likely feel a range of emotions (embarrassment, self-loathing, jealousy that your needs aren’t met, etc.). “Oh equine god, I am running the flag up your majestic pole.

If not familiar: it’s the same motion Bobby made at you in 7th grade on the bus when you said you wanted to finish your algebra assignment.ĥ. Apply your warmed right hand to his monument, thumb extended in the classic shaft-grabbing motion. How do they keep you contained in this pen?”Ĥ. “Nice horsey, beautiful mane, great fetlocks…” Then, stroke his manhood: “I’ve never seen such a massive horse unit as yours. Horse semen typically has a discharge force of 125,000 CFS (or the stream of a fire hose).ģ. Lay newspaper on the ground (horses typically have a blast radius of somewhere around 4 feet). I prefer Clydesdales, but really any horse with a large, fully-erect cock will do.Ģ. Ideally one with a beautiful chestnut or palomino coat.

Horae penis